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Soft drinks should be sold at school

In my opinion, I strongly believe that soft drinks shouldn"t be sold at schools, because soft drinks damage our behaviours, concentrations, inhibitions, learning abilities and overall general health issues due to the community comments on www.debate.org/opinions/should-soda-be-sold-at-schools. For instance, it makes us aggressive, stimulant and disruptive; as well as it could distract student from concentrate on what they are doing. First, I confidently believe that soft drinks shouldn"t be sold at schools, because soft drinks are causing troubles on our behaviours, concentrations, learning abilities, inhibitions and overall general health issues caused by the ingredients of sugars, carbon dioxide, artificial sweeteners, acids, sodium, artificial flavourings & colours and preservatives in each can or bottle of soft drink. Also, due to scientific researches showing on http://www.rethinksugarydrink.org.au..., it stated if a student drinks one can of 600ml of regular soft drink every day for a year this equals to 23kg of sugar and 6.75kg of fats, or one can of 250ml of energy drink equals to 24g of sugar and a 1600ml bottle of regular soft drink equals to 64g of sugar. It also stated that In the end, I strongly suggest schools should brought buy fresh fruits for the caf" to sell as an energy booster, because the sugar in fruits are natural and fruits give us heaps of vitamins and minerals, not fats. Also, bone breaking causing by carbonate from soft drinks corroding bones in our body and made bones loss of calcium & vitamin D; and tooth decay caused by sugar from the soft drinks stuck in our tooth and grows bacteria in the plague, which gives us horrible yellow tooth and smelling breath; are some examples that messed up our growth process. So, I thought there is no use for schools to offer such expensive drinks, instead schools should using the money on sporting equipment, library books, stationaries, camps, excursions, uniforms and heaps more healthy choices for us. Overall, I absolutely believe that soft drinks shouldn"t be sold at schools, because soft drinks gives us more harm than good and have no nutritional benefits; if you need energy to boost you up, eats fruits, they are natural energy booster! FEEDBACK FROM MY TEACHER!!! Well Done! You have put in a lot of time and effort to create a persuasive text with detailed evidence and explanations to support your arguments. You have also used extensive technical vocabulary and precise word groups that strengthens the credibility. Your introduction has clearly stated your opinion and arguments to be discussed in the text. Please include a rhetorical question at the beginning or in the title to further engage the reader. I really like how you included a solution to help persuade the reader, for example selling health food in the cafe as an energy booster. Great idea! Using connective words to link your paragraphs will help the reader to understand and follow your arguments. For example, Firstly (argument 1), Secondly (argument 2), and Thirdly (argument 3).