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People should attend parenting classes before having a baby

Hey Theocatzop, Thanks for sharing your opinion. You want the world to be the best it can be and believe implementing programmes such as parenting classes would make the world a better place. It's a worthy intention. However there's a saying in my society that roughly translates to what I believe is a saying in english: "The road to hell is paved with good intentions". And I believe this is the case here. Not that you'll go to hell if you take parenting classes ;) My explanation revolves around the fact that there is no universal theorems or methods when it comes to parenting. Suggesting that there are would have a negative effect on society. WHY I'M AGAINST PARENTING CLASSES: CLASS TOPICS ARE SUBJECTIVE Topics that would be covered in such a class would be of subjective nature. Anything that isn't subjective is common knowledge drilled into our heads every day (don't eat sugar, don't smoke). That leaves subjective topics such as how to raise a child: discipline, teaching respect, honesty, confidence, proper values. My research confirms the subjectivity of topics: examples of typical class topics are (http://www.pricelessparenting.com...) "Allowing Your Children to Learn From Experience"; "Resolving Continuing Problem Behavior". However there is no "correct" method. Different societies have different values. And different households need to deal with situations very differently. There is no universal truth. STANDARDIZED VALUES BASED ON SUBJECTIVE NORMS ARE DETRIMENTAL TO SOCIETY We are not robots. Our society already controls our needs and wants and what we should or shouldn't do. One kid got bit by a dog and now my whole city is required to have fenced lots even if we don't have a dog. We are headed towards a society where all kids have GPS chip implants. Taking classes promotes a certain type of parenting. "This is how you should parent". But every child and every family is different, so when a 'parenting teacher' tells you not to bribe your child and one day your child doesn't eat their veggies and you tell your child they can't have desert you'll be breaking the 'good parent code'. Which is ridiculous. No one should have to tell us what's the 'best' or 'correct' way to deal with our kids. Is that really the kind of society we want to live in? There are laws to promote and enforce safety, which is enough. We don't need the state to meddle in values and morality. This debate isn't provable from either side. It comes down to whether or not you believe standardized teachings cause more harm than good. You included referenced opinions that you agreed with. Here are two I agree with: (1) "...the parenting advice proposed by experts on behalf of the state violates the religious or cultural identity of the family, proving offensive and causing either internal tension in the family or social alienation." 1 Louise Casey and Jill Kirby, Head to Head: Parenting Classes, BBC News, 21 November 2006. (2) "The thought that there is an "objectively correct" way to raise a child is a strongly idealised conception...applying such a principle of "objectivity" more widely risks demonising families who lovingly wish to raise their children according to their own beliefs and do not put the wellbeing of their children at risk. Educational standards, and parenting behaviour as recommended by the experts are not objective truths and are always open to challenge and debate. Even in purportedly "scientific" areas such as medical advice...When the state proposes standards of "good parenting", it provides grounds to criticise virtually all parents. A paper from the charity Barnardo"s argues that "ineffective programmes let families down and waste money."1 No parent or child is perfect " but the vast majority have the right to pursue their personal relationship without fear of intrusion. Imposing parenting classes would foster an unhealthy environment of suspicion of difference." 2. . Eva Lloyd, What Works In Parenting Education? " Summary, Barnardo"s (1999). Here are my responses to your 'pro' arguments: RE: PARENTING CLASSES PROMOTE CHILDREN'S RIGHT TO A HIGH STANDARD OF PARENTING: "Parenting classes would help ensure that parents know what is regarded as good for their children and would promote the rights of young people to a decent upbringing...". As detailed earlier, the state should not be deciding what is the correct way to raise a child. There is no such thing as a general 'high standard': standards are relative and different to every individual based on experiences, perspectives, environment, education, religion, values, society, etc. RE: BAD PARENTING HAS AN IMPACT ON THE REST OF SOCIETY: All parenting has an impact on society. All impact it negatively and positively at varying levels. Determining the quality of parenting is completely subjective: I may believe my neighbour is a bad parent because he doesn't volunteer at his kids' school and gives ice cream to his kids once a month. Who's to judge what a bad parent is? The drunk dad who got abused as a child and abuses his kids? That's not a parenting issue resolvable with a few parenting classes. It would take years of psychological and financial support from the state to have a possible impact on the family. Classes would not make 'bad' parents good parents. People open to acquiring specific knowledge will seek it on their own. RE: STANDARDIZED INFORMATION HAS GREAT VALUE: Should the 18 year old single mom working 70 hour weeks really be told that spoiling kids is bad. Don't think she needs the same advice as the 38 year old millionaire couple. I could spend months reading books on how to deal with my teenager with no positive impact. I assure you a one hour class will have no impact on my teenager's life. A single mom who spends her days high and drunk watching tv could spend years in counselling without changing so is her teenager's fate really going to change because of a few parenting classes she took 16 years ago? Not only is every individual's situation unique, but standardized teaching inevitably attempts to define 'proper' parenting. It's both misleading and manipulative. Standardization is the entire basis of my opposition- we are not clones. We should cherish our individuality and uniqueness. IN CONCLUSION: Parenting classes would be based on pre-determined standards. However there aren't norms when it comes to parenting- nor should there be. Parenting classes negatively influence our unique behaviours and belief systems. Not to mention the obvious financial burden such classes would have on individuals and/or taxpayers. Perhaps such resources could be spent on universally beneficial training such as First Aid or CPR. Yours truly, Jasse :)